It’s the night time and there is no one there.
I reach out in the dark for a hand to hold,
And there is only my own.
My heart longs to beat quickly for someone,
But I only find celebrities who don’t know I exist.
My nights are spent in a bedroom,
Wishing on stars or longingly staring at a computer screen.
I am the cause of my loneliness.
I don’t go out at night.
I can’t trust someone to not hurt me.
I have an unrealistic ideal for a man.
I flirt online with guys light-years away,
And I hide my emotions.
I feel trapped in a constantly-tightening box,
My social skills slowly being suffocated from me.
I yearn for a man to pull the lid off this so-called coffin
And show me the stars again.
I long for butterflies in my stomach,
Stupid grins on my face,
Giggling like a teenager,
And the feeling of heat when his hand touches mine.
I begin to feel like six years ago is all that I shall experience.
I hope that’s not reality.
-July 23, 2012
I got this urge to write this while typing a post for a private blog of mine. Thoughts and comments would be greatly appreciated.