Things I’ve Done On Dates That No One Should Do

  1. On my first date with Scott, I slid on a patch of ice. Now, this is not something anyone can control. But your shoes always help in these matters. I was wearing high heeled boots. Fashion has its place, but it’s not in the dark in Northern New England.
  2. On this same date, I brought up that coffee (back then) made me go #2 in a bad way. Scott’s reaction was pretty textbook, because he looked extremely uncomfortable. I realized what had come out of my mouth, but by that point it was too late for me to shut up. I am grateful Scott gave me another chance after that moment.
  3. When going into the movie theater, I just went into the cinema, completely ignoring the concessions stand.
  4. At the end of the date, whether it was nerves or just me being an idiot, I kept babbling this sentence over and over. Internal monologues are great, when they’re in your head, but my brain and mouth decided to work against me.
  5. On our second date, I jokingly made fun of him for being late.
  6. When he came into my house to watch a movie, I forgot to show him around. Lesson from this: whether or not they need to use it, always show people where the bathrooms are.
  7. When he asked me if we could go on a walk, I automatically assumed he was driving to the local park, so I grabbed my purse. And it is incredibly awkward trying to have an intimate moment for the first time holding hands when your purse is in the way. And even if we had gone to the park, did I really need my damn purse?
  8. This is one I am most ashamed of: when you’re left alone with a guy you have strong feelings for and it’s dinnertime, offer to make him some damn dinner. Don’t assume he’s cool watching you eat your dinner before you have to work. Because nine times out of ten, he isn’t. If there is one moment about my last date with Scott that I could re-do given the chance, that’s it.
  9. Don’t get into an argument over paying for lunch.
  10. Unless the subject comes up (which it did), don’t share your opinions on religion or politics. I am unsure of turning this conversation topic into something else, but you should.

And there you have it.


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