Why I Love the Wicked Witch of the West (and Implying I am a Witch in the Process)

I may be alone in this sentiment, but I love her. As a kid, she scared the living bejeezus out of me, but it was never totally bone-chilling fright.

As I sat watching the movie one night a few years back (yes, I still watch The Wizard of Oz when it’s on), and I am watching Ms. Gulch (who is a giant bitch) turn into the Witch in the cyclone, and I just felt excited. And as I watched her intimidate all the Munchkins and Dorothy, I realized she is totally awesome.

Maybe it’s Dorothy’s ever-constant cheeriness and gingham dress that makes me crazy, or her constant whining about Auntie Em–or just her whining in general, but I feel like the Wicked Witch of the West is totally 100% justified in her pursuit of Dorothy.

With that said, I do have some thoughts:

  1. There is no need to go after the Scarecrow. Guy doesn’t have a brain (or does he?), so leveling threats of stuffing a mattress with him seems kind of much. A little trivia about me: I have loved the Scarecrow since I was six. Not kidding. I used to have dreams where I was Dorothy and we’d have adventures that were based NOTHING on Oz, and we would kiss. 
  2. The same rule applies to the Tin-Man. The guy is heartless (not like that), and yet he still feels. He knows that when she threatens to make him into a beehive, it’s not good. The Tin-Man is a good guy, and we should just leave him alone.
  3. I also don’t condone the way she treats Toto.

But seriously, let the dang witch pursue Dorothy to her heart’s content. Glinda isn’t all that awesome, and neither are those shoes. Sure, her sister’s shoes have all this power, but are they so awesome that she overlooks the hideousness of them? They are red sparkly things with giant-ass bows on the toes. She out to stick to the sensible black pumps she wears.

The short of WWotW:

  1. She wants her sister’s red shoes that are powerful
  2. Some annoying girl is wearing them because some witch with her own personal bubble put them on her feet
  3. And SHE must have those shoes.

Despite their hideousness (are you sensing I hate the ruby slippers?), SHE must have them. She tries her damnedest to rid of Dorothy, but that damn girl won’t take a hint. Finally, she has her monkeys kidnap the girl and the dog.

The darn magic backfires, and burns her fingers (I hate when that happens), so she leaves Dorothy with the thought of her dog possibly dying, and that of Dorothy’s own death being imminent so she can get those slippers.

And of course, Dorothy’s dumb (just go with me) companions rescue her, but she has her guards surround them. Personally, this is my favorite part of the movie.

My girl the Witch makes a boo-boo, lighting Scarecrow’s arm on fire, knowing full-well that Dorothy has stronger feelings for him than her other friends. And who the hell left the bucket full of water in the corner? That breeds mosquitoes (but maybe they don’t have mosquitoes in Oz–lucky).  And Dorothy picks it up to put out the fire and while doing so, throws it on the Witch.

One has to wonder though what her skin has in it. Because I encounter water on a daily basis and I don’t melt. Her sister met her demise via a country house landing directly on her body.

Personally, I just think The Wicked Witch wants attention. No one gives it to her, because her late sister was the more powerful of the two of them. And nothing breeds an attention-seeking woman more than being ignored. Glinda is so good-natured and perfect it’s sickening, and then she has to deal with an interloping child who just happens to drop in on her sister–literally. She is no longer feared, but she knows with the shoes she would be, and there it is.


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