Things I Suck At

Inspired by this video of Jenna Marbles, I decided to list some things I suck at. Please, do not judge me.

  • I suck at playing baseball/softball. I almost hit a classmate of the male persuasion in his family jewelry box when throwing the bat to run for a base. Eric, I apologize again. I lost first base so that I could apologize, not that it would have helped any.
  • Running for the purpose of running. Needless to say, in school I didn’t win any awards for being fast.
  • Lying. I suck at lying–except on the Internet. My sisters say I have a lying face, which I admit I do. There are times when I am telling the truth, but the lying face pops out. My lying face is basically me breaking out into a smile.
  • Fast rides. If you’re ever with me at an amusement park or fairs, please don’t ask me to ride fast rides with you. You will regret it. I now have vertigo as a legitimate excuse to not ride fast rides, but in the past it was because I scream like an ass. I couldn’t even ride the Matterhorn without tucking my head between my legs and screaming. I HATE fast rides.
  • I suck at playing Super Mario Brothers. True story. In the old school Super NES days, I was pretty damn awesome. But these newfangled players are stupid. I cannot play Super Mario Brothers Wii to save my life. If I were approached by Crowley from Supernatural and given the choice to be eaten alive by his hellhounds or play Mario to keep my mortal life–I’d be dead either way.
  • Baking. Despite my best efforts, I cannot bake. I can use an oven to cook with, but I cannot bake. It’s cool though. I am lactose-intolerant, so there isn’t much I can bake anyway.
  • Cook meat. You want me to make you a sandwich? Great! You want a baked turkey for Thanksgiving? Go to your Mama’s. This girl cannot cook meat, and I really have no desire to.
  • Applying eyeliner and concealer. My youngest sister would say I suck at certain types of makeup application. Eyeliner acts like it’s on my lids, but nothing comes off at night when I remove it. Oh well.

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