I am not going to edit this, I am just going to post it as I had written it. The real name of Scott will be omitted (for obvious reasons, although should he actually come across this blog by knowing my name, he will know it’s him–and in that case I say hello and don’t be alarmed).
I was twenty-two and I thought I knew everything. The trouble was, I didn’t. A guy came into my world, and shook it up like a snow-globe. My world, as I had known it, was about to permanently change. Sometimes, events have a greater impact than you ever planned.
Scott came into my world like a tornado. I was caught up in him, unable to see the chaos as it unfolded around me. I sat on a bench in front of a restaurant I had been to a few times before, waiting for a person who may or may not have been who I was expecting. I was grateful it was the guy who I had seen in photos. I wanted to wax his eyebrows. My first thought upon meeting him was that I wanted to wax his eyebrows. We go in, and had such an uncomfortable dinner that the date should have ended immediately afterward.
We were young masochists, and continued the evening. I was nauseous the whole night. Not because of Scott, but from a bacterial virus. As I walked Main Street with him at my side, I wondered how I managed to be in this moment. Scott was incredibly attractive: with light-blue eyes I found myself getting lost in if I looked into them for too long, dark brown curly hair that he had casually pulled back into a ponytail as we strolled along in the cold night, and he smelled of cologne and clean laundry. I was intoxicated by his very presence. I felt unworthy to stand beside him.
Standing in line at Dunkin Donuts, the cashier looked at the two of us like we were some adorable couple. She may not have known I caught her expression, but she wore it proudly like a badge. Every moment I spent with him I felt as though I was making an idiot of myself. He was college-educated, and I had dropped out of high school. Yet he was a gentleman, and I could not tear myself away from those blue eyes.
We went to see a movie. I was so nervous, that I bypassed the concessions stand, immediately heading into the theater itself. I froze when choosing someplace to sit. Sitting in the back indicates you want to make out, the middle is safe, and too close to the front seems tacky. We took the middle, comfortably seated, but awkwardly distant. I was consumed with whether to leave a hand available for him to hold. It was cold in the cinema, and I kept them in my pocket. I could smell him throughout the movie, his cologne/laundry scent like a drug to my senses. At that moment, overwhelming nausea was the last thing on my mind.