I Know I’m Getting Old When…

I have to look up what the definition of “stanning” is. Incidentally, it means going obsessive over a celebrity. The name comes from the song “Stan” by Eminem (you know the one with the Dido sample, and who also appears in the video as the pregnant girlfriend of the character). I would like to say I have not “stanned” over anyone, but I would be a big liar. My first “Stan” experience was Howie Dorough from the Backstreet Boys (don’t judge me, he was a dreamboat once). I cried when he kissed a girl in the “I’ll Never Break Your Heart” video, and for those reasons, I cannot listen to that song, let alone watch the video.

My second “Stan” experience (and my most cringeworthy) was for Lance Bass. I had it bad for him, although in the back of my mind I still had a crush on JC Chasez, who I had adored since he was fourteen and on The Mickey Mouse Club. Anyway, Lance appeared on an episode of 7th Heaven, where he played a potential love interest for Lucy. Well, there is a scene where they are at a movie theatre (around the 4:00 mark) and they start making out. Being the dork teenager I was, I lost my mind. I went full-on Elinor Dashwood from the 1995 adaptation of Sense and Sensibility, and ran from the room, locking myself in my room, and loudly sobbed. Luckily, my family has mostly forgotten this tragic moment in my youth, but it does occasionally come up. And as an adult, I decided to watch that scene again, and I laugh at the awkwardness of it. It’s like watching On the Line, there is just this sense that Lance is hiding a secret (and when he did come out in 2006, I was not surprised, but I was happy that he finally came out).

With those out in the open, I am ending this post.

*I would just like to note that while I have had obsessive experiences with celebrities in the past, I have never gone to the point the person in the “Stan” video went to. I also do not condone inundating celebrities with letter after letter of your life, or letting your adoration for that person (because celebrities are people) go so far that you lock your significant other in the trunk and kill yourself.


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