Adolescence · Life as I Know It · Random

Near Car Accident Memories

I’m not sure if I have mentioned in the past that I lived in New Hampshire for eight years, from 2000-2008. Due to my living in the Northern part of the state, which got a lot of snow, I have had some near-death experiences.

  • The first one involved our first year living there, and we went out as a family to look at Christmas lights (a tradition that we discontinued after this experience). We ended up switching lanes, and I happened to look out of the window just as a woman who had been behind us hit some unseen object and her truck flipped. As it turned out, she hit a dead moose on the side of the road and because she wasn’t wearing a seat belt (because in 2000, NH only required children under 12 to wear seat belts), she was half hanging out of the window. She was fine.
  • The second involved my dad, mom, and myself taking a winter trip to North Conway to look for Christmas gifts in 2004 (I only know the year because it was the year before I started working at T.J. Maxx). About twenty minutes from North Conway, there is a little (though deep) pond in the mountain range very close to the road. We hit a patch of black ice, and were spinning towards that lake. They say your life flashes before your eyes–all I thought was “I can’t swim. It’s winter, and I am fucked.” We managed to drift away from the pond to this platform on the right side of the street, which we tapped. My dad believes there was some higher power watching out for us, and I felt it was my grandpa. Side note: My dad was apologizing to my mom and I while we were spinning out of control. Also, another thirty seconds later, and an eighteen-wheeler would have clobbered us.
  • The last one, involved my dad and I taking a trip to Manchester to see Josh Groban in February 2005/6. We got just outside out Concord, when I decided we should go home. The entire trip was a nightmare. It was blizzard-like conditions, and the roads were slippery. We kept sliding across the road, and every time the Jeep went out of control, I would hear Notorious B.I.G.’s “Big Poppa” playing in my head. Before this moment, I had not knowingly heard Biggie (and that was in 10 Things I Hate About You). To this day, I don’t know why “Big Poppa” was the song I heard when slipping on wet snow in my dad’s Jeep.

The whole entire purpose of this post is due to the fact I heard “Big Poppa” while listening to a 90s Spotify radio playlist.

Adolescence · Life as I Know It · Photos · Random

I think I’m in the Twilight Zone. My sister and I were looking at old photos, and she came across one from a Christmas many years ago.

In it, I am holding a Heart/Hart Family doll set. What is strange is that I never remember receiving it. I wanted them so bad, but my parents couldn’t afford them. My initial theory was that they were my cousin’s, since she got the pricier gifts from our grandparents, but my sister said there was no way she would let me look at her gift.

I’ve gone back and looked at the dolls, and am now questioning if I actually did own them.

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Adolescence · Life as I Know It

Favorite Memory

Thanks to a prompt on CoScheduleBlog, I decided to write about a favorite memory.

I honestly have many favorite memories, some of which I don’t want to share here, but after searching my brain for about thirty seconds, I decided that Prom factored into one of them.

I’ve spoken about prom in the past, but what makes it a favorite memory was how I felt that night. I had started out the day quite aggravated, since my dad thought commemorating my only prom night wasn’t worth it because I wasn’t going with a guy. My sister did my hair, my dress was too big and my parents went out to buy safety pins to make the dress a little more snug, and I ate basically nothing before going out.

To top it all, one of my classmates was killed before the dance even began. It sounds really mean, but I wasn’t going to let this sad news bring down my one and only prom experience. I noticed that this tall redheaded senior that I had a crush on for the last few months was there as a kind of reserve-type, because the boy/girl ratio was off. I was nervous for photos, because I was one of maybe five girls there without a date, and I had flashbacks of Homecoming in 1999 (the photographer refused to take my photo, eventually relenting when I wouldn’t walk away without a photo).

Prom is a special memory because it was the one night where I wasn’t “the new girl from California,” or “the one who seems cool, but doesn’t talk to anybody.” I was just Colleen, who was having a good time. Even though there were times when the girl who had brought me to prom (and convinced me to go in the first place) was driving me nuts, I wasn’t letting it bring me down.

It was also special because it was the first time I had ever slow-danced with someone. The redheaded senior asked me to dance, and after my initial disbelief (because no guy I had ever liked singled me out–in a good way), I took his hand. As we swayed along to the music, several of my classmates smiled and acknowledged me as a human, which felt really nice. I actually felt like I fit in for a short period of time.

It was a great night.

Adolescence · Life as I Know It · Questions · Random · The Arts

More Titanic Musings

I have spoken about Titanic a few times in past posts, basically from the standpoint of being a fourteen-year old girl who fell deeper in love with history. Well, the gazillion times I watched the movie at home when it was released on VHS and seeing it three times in theatres in 1997 came back to bite me in the butt today.

BuzzFeed posted an article about Titanic actor Billy Zane believing Rose should have ended up with his character, Cal Hockley. Naturally, women spoke up about the fact that even though Cal might have been the better-looking one (I am of the opinion that both Cal and Jack are equally handsome), he was still a jerk and Rose was better off without him.

Here are some photos taken from comments I felt I had to respond to. Whether or not my historical knowledge is correct or not (although it does matter), I felt I had speak up.

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Would Cal still be suicidal?

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I think that my favorite response is that of Cal’s demise in 1929 with the Stock Market Crash. Cal  was always referencing his money throughout the film (I mean, he bought a necklace that belonged to Louis XVI–that would not have been cheap), and I think the idea of potentially having to do manual labor would have been abhorrent to him. Maybe I misjudged his character when I was fourteen, who knows?

Any thoughts on this topic? Do you all think I am a dork?

Adolescence · Life as I Know It · Photos · Random · The Arts

Silly Things I Did As a Teenager

Author’s Note: Upon further inspection, I discovered this Rolling Stone issue is from May 2000. I would have likely read this as road trip entertainment, since I was moving across the country in June of that same year (with that said, my hair was cut similar to hers in 1999, I just don’t know who the inspiration might have been).

At the moment, this will be only one example. I know in the back of my mind that I did some ridiculous stuff, but I can only think of this one example.

When I was 15-16, I lived my life by all things Pop music-related. I was the odd girl in 1999 who was either in love with ‘NSYNC or Backstreet Boys–I liked them both immensely*; who couldn’t figure out what Christina Aguilera’s deal was, but I knew something was off about her (and when she made “Dirrty” I figured it out); and who cut her hair to look like Britney Spears.

In the summer of 1999, Britney appeared on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine, bearing this haircut (which might have been a wig):

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I also had shorts that laced up like her pants.

I was captivated by the length of her hair; the purposeful messiness of it, and I felt I needed it. For a bit of background on me at that age: five years earlier, my hair was very short. I hated having short hair, and I had grown my hair out about two years earlier. My favorite thing about my long hair in high school was that when I ran in P.E. class, I could see my ponytail swinging; and now I wanted to lop it all off so I could have this haircut.

I didn’t look like Britney. Photographic evidence exists of this haircut (and it is in my sophomore yearbook; along with the skunk hair color of my formerly-red highlights that went blonde), but I am far too ashamed to take a photo of that photo. I cut my hair in July (but not as short as Britney’s), because it had grown out badly by August, when school photos were taken. My hair was still long enough that I could pull it into a ponytail and let it swing and smack me in the face in volleyball class.

*Even by today’s standards of BSB vs ‘NSYNC, it is blasphemous to like both of them. To clarify, my friends also liked both boy bands (and were of course in love with Nick and Justin–ICK!), but they always had a higher preference for one over the other. If you ask 32-year old Colleen if she still feels the same, I would say no. I now have a much higher preference for ‘NSYNC over Backstreet Boys.

Adolescence · Books · Life as I Know It · The Arts

Interview With the Vampire Remake Thoughts

I am self-professed vampire fan. This isn’t something I hide from people. I might want to tone down the level of admiration I had for the Twilight saga when speaking to people, but I never shy away from the level of love I have for all things vampire.

I recently read that there is a remake of Anne Rice’s Interview With the Vampire  and an (long-awaited) adaptation of The Vampire Lestat, and my first thought was, “Why?” I mean, I was eleven when IWtV came to theatres, and I was 11-12 when I glimpsed it for the first time on HBO. I have written about how Tom Cruise’s Lestat awakened me in many aspects, and when I think of Lestat and Louis, I think of Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt. Remaking this seems utterly ridiculous.

Then this morning, I see that the writer/director/producer wants Jared Leto for Lestat. Suddenly, I am on-board for a remake. No, not because I think Jared Leto is a nice-looking guy (which he is), but because he would bring Lestat’s intensity to life. Tom Cruise did an awesome job portraying Lestat’s annoyance with Louis’ lack of bloodlust, and the blatant disregard he has for human life being for anything other than sating his thirst. Besides, Jared Leto recently posted a tongue-in-cheek statement that he drinks human blood to remain looking youthful.

With that said, the casting of Louis has to be excellent, as well. Brad Pitt portrayed Louis’ disgust with his vampirism really well, and whoever fills this role needs to feel Louis’ pain.

Obviously, this is something I take quite seriously, and will be watching very closely over the next few months.

Adolescence · Family · Life as I Know It · Random

Misophonia

I have discussed very briefly in the past that I have a condition known as Misophonia, but I have never really covered what happens to me when I hear noises that trigger it. [I have self-diagnosed Misophonia]

The first time I vividly remember hearing a noise that made me feel like The Incredible Hulk internally was my sister, who was ten at the time, chewing gum. I asked her to chew quietly with her mouth closed, but she defiantly continued chewing like a cow. Internally, I could feel the Hulk growing angrier and angrier, and I lashed out. I think I warned her that I was going to unleash the beast, but she didn’t believe me. So, I pried open her mouth, and pulled out the gum.

Continue reading “Misophonia”

Adolescence · Life as I Know It

Disneyland Part 2

I was seated between both of the guys, and by this point, the water and everything I had drank had finally hit me (God, I miss that). As it happens, the boat got stuck at the top of the first “drop,” with the sound of water rushing below me, and I thought I was in hell. I also vowed that I would not pee my pants, because that would wreck me emotionally and Patrick would forever see me as the girl who peed her pants on PotC. We then decided to go on the Haunted Mansion.

As we stood in line, Patrick mocked these women several people ahead of us who were smoking. He pretended to hack a lung, and verbally admonished them for exposing everyone to secondhand smoke. He said things that made me laugh, and I suppose Patrick was doing things that caused his friend to ask us if we were dating (this would not be the last time someone asked me this while I was in school–it happened again when I was a Sophomore in volleyball class), which we both said ‘no’ to, although my brain wanted to say ‘yes’. His friend said as we got closer to going in, that he would let us share a doombuggy, since he wasn’t convinced there wasn’t something happening between us. Internally, I was doing this:

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Of course, that burger I had ate came back to haunt me. That, and my general appearance that day. All I remember was that I was wearing a sweatshirt that was tied around my waist, jeans that didn’t fit properly, my hair was a nightmare, and I had braces. I wondered if he would kiss me, and then I worried if he did try at some dark juncture of the ride where he wouldn’t be seen by his friend, was my breath oniony? We rode the ride in quite palpable silence, and that was that.

We then decided to walk around the park (after I went to the bathroom), and ended up at a place that no longer exists, and not many people know about. At the time, it was near Sleeping Beauty’s Castle, and was dedicated to Ariel. At intervals, water would shoot out of fishes’ mouths, and it was someplace to go to cool off during the hot days. Patrick purposely threw himself into the path of the water spray, and then tried to sabotage me and his friend. At some point, his Mickey Mouse PEZ figure got trapped on the other side of the fence. He tried to grab it, and then asked me to try, since I had slimmer arms. All the while, he was making his Pluto Beanie Baby “cry” onto my shoulder while I tried (unsuccessfully). Afterwards, Pluto sat on my shoulder, crying and nuzzling my neck. Patrick then said that “Pluto liked my earrings” (back when I had my triple piercings—thanks Buffy), which really caused his friend to question Patrick’s feelings toward me.

We went to Frontierland, so Patrick could buy his dad and sister fudge, during which he got into an argument with his friend (although I thought it was me at the time). Not much later, we took the Pinocchio Tram back to the parking lot to go home.

I rushed out later that following Saturday morning to have the photos developed at Walmart, which I brought to school Monday morning. Patrick saw the photo I took of him, and acted as though it was some unforgettable moment. It kind of stung a little, but I wasn’t going to let him ruin my night.

And that, is the very long story of my trip to Disneyland. I still have a lot of the photos I took that night, but only one is saved online, and for the anonymity of those in that image, I won’t publish it. Thankfully, the photo I took of myself that night was thrown out by dad (along with the original image of Patrick–which I had a negative for) that was in another photo album.