Titanic is Twenty


There have been a lot of movies that I have had affect my life whose twentieth anniversaries have come and gone (Clueless is one example), but Titanic was a huge one. When I was fourteen, this movie stood out to me for reasons that are lost to me now. At the time, I was an ostracized new kid at a school where maybe seven people ignored the rampant rumors swirling about me, and took the time to discover they were highly untrue. Maybe I associated with Rose’s plight of feeling that she is “standing in the middle of a crowded room, screaming at the top of her lungs, and no one even looks up.”

When I first went and saw the movie, I was supposed to be going with this guy James (real name) for a date. I didn’t like James. James was the polar opposite of anyone I have ever been interested in, but I was going to go on this date for some reason. Luckily, my inner voice told me I was being stupid, and I broke it off. I ended up going with my twelve-year-old sister and her friend, presumably because I was the ticket inside based off of my age. That, and how I was intrigued to see the movie because of Kate Winslet’s nose in the iconic poster (I have a thing for noses–mainly those of men, but Kate got a pass).

I was immediately captivated. Leonardo DiCaprio was a handsome man, Kate Winslet as Rose was the person I wanted to be (and try I did, much to my horror twenty years later, and also confusing the few males in my classes that I used Rose’s lines on when they tested me), and the story of the sinking broke my heart. I ended up seeing the movie three times, and cried every time Jack died.

Like many fourteen-year-old girls were doing, I ate up merchandise. I had the knock-off necklace (although the stone was much smaller), I bought all the soundtracks (which led to me blacklisting Celine Dion for years, because she was all over the radio, and her voice made me simply murderous–I still can’t listen to “My Heart Will Go On”), had the poster, and all that other stuff. If magazines spoke about the movie, I bought them. My allowance lined James Cameron’s pockets.

And now, it is twenty years later. I have been unable to watch the movie in its entirety for years, and even when I try, I turn it off. I can sit through numerous Holocaust films that cut me to the bones emotionally, but I can’t sit through Titanic. The only things from the movie obsession I have is a clipping from People magazine of Leo and Kate as their characters standing on the interior ceiling of the ship (a pun of sorts, I suppose) and I think the Return to the Titanic soundtrack. I can still quote that movie in my sleep, and remember emotions I had in regard to particular scenes. I can still remember how I confused the boys in my Math class when I called them ‘rude and uncouth’, and internally screaming at myself to stop being an idiot, because I wasn’t helping dispel the rumors going around about me (although those rumors had nothing to do with my behavior).

Needless to say, Titanic has had an impact. It furthered my love for history, corseted ladies, and gentlemen. Mainly, I helped Leonardo DiCaprio take minor roles in independent films for a few years because of the pandemonium of Titanic (sorry, Leo!). I also get a joy out of explaining to younger people that I sat around for three-and-a-half hours to download a minute-long clip of Leo and Kate in the Third Class dancing (dial-up was no joke).

Happy 20th, and thanks for making me feel like an old lady, Titanic!


My Cinematic Element

I haven’t done one of these in a long time, so I will reveal a quiz result from Buzzfeed on what my cinematic element would be.

You got: A high-contrast, whimsical period piece with dark themes

Think of standing in a dark hallway eavesdropping on someone, and holding a candle while it flickers over your face, casting creepy shadows on the wall. Think of white ballgowns, mint green rooms, ornate chairs, and devastating secrets whispered about over tea.

Does that not sound like something I would be into? I am strongly into Victorian/Edwardian-themed films where someone lurks in a corner with a candlestick, eavesdropping.

Image is from Crimson Peak

Image was lovingly extracted from here.

Random Post involving Alexander Skarsgard

I was on Tumblr (sometimes I feel as though I am the only thirty-something roaming that site, despite the fact I know otherwise), and I came across this post about Alexander Skarsgard that I found funny but related to.

For me, the first person I can really remember having a crush on in a movie was the Scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz. I couldn’t even tell you why, since I was five or six. I figure it was his spirit or the fact that he was just a no-nonsense type of person. Over the years, this adoration has also expanded to include the Tin Man, but there is a soft spot for Scarecrow. I wouldn’t go as far as Alexander to say that is why I am not married or in a relationship, because that is where this comparison ends.

For anyone new to this blog, there are a couple of posts floating around about my woman crush on the Wicked Witch of the West. I highly suggest you all check those out, in case you need further proof of how weird I am. I also skip through the movie to avoid the sugary ick of Dorothy (which I also explain in those other posts). Click on the tags to find those related posts.

Link belongs to askarsswedishmeatballs-Tumblr

Oldies Still Make Sense Decades Later

As I spend more and more time wondering what in Hades is happening to the United States, I am finding music of the 1960s/1970s has odd parallels to that of current events today.

One song in particular is that of The Temptations’ “Ball of Confusion.” Obviously, there are references to recreational drug use (mainly the use of Marijuana, I would assume) and how kids are “walking around with their heads in the sky,” and other things that are associated with the decade in which the song originated, but there are plenty of things that apply to the current period.

I refuse to get overly political, unless I feel so strongly about something, that I can’t just keep quiet. So far, my right to speak freely has yet to be repealed, but I figure it is only a matter of time before that happens.

Link included brings you to the lyrics of the song, but there is a player bar at the bottom of the site’s page if you want to listen to the song.


Shows I’m into right now

  1. Versailles – The title alone is pretty self-explanatory. It’s a BBC show that airs on Ovation about the reign of Louis XIV of France and the construction of Palace of Versailles. It’s excellent.
  2. Westworld (HBO) – I am a bit surprised that I am into this show, considering that in the first episode, a character is led screaming to a barn to be raped. I stopped watching Game of Thrones after Sansa was married to Ramsay Bolton and the events of their wedding night.
  3. Homicide Hunter: Lt. Joe Kenda (ID Discovery) – I LOVE crime shows, and I happened across this show, and have been in love ever since. I love Joe’s tenacity, and his no-BS attitude.
  4. Too Close to Home (TLC) – This show is what the reviewers on IMdB say: crappy. But I have to know how the first season ends, which is either tonight or tomorrow. I feel like the only shining light in this show is Brock O’Hurn, who plays the only likable character in the show, other than the man playing his dementia-riddled physician father. If the season ends on a bad note, I at least know I won’t be coming back unless  I am utterly bored.

I think that’s it. Maybe I will check back in and do a movie one soon. Annoying neighbors and off-season TV have made my cable provider’s On Demand service quite popular and I have watched many movies I normally wouldn’t.

More Titanic Musings

I have spoken about Titanic a few times in past posts, basically from the standpoint of being a fourteen-year old girl who fell deeper in love with history. Well, the gazillion times I watched the movie at home when it was released on VHS and seeing it three times in theatres in 1997 came back to bite me in the butt today.

BuzzFeed posted an article about Titanic actor Billy Zane believing Rose should have ended up with his character, Cal Hockley. Naturally, women spoke up about the fact that even though Cal might have been the better-looking one (I am of the opinion that both Cal and Jack are equally handsome), he was still a jerk and Rose was better off without him.

Here are some photos taken from comments I felt I had to respond to. Whether or not my historical knowledge is correct or not (although it does matter), I felt I had speak up.

Screenshot (23)
Would Cal still be suicidal?

Screenshot (24)

I think that my favorite response is that of Cal’s demise in 1929 with the Stock Market Crash. Cal  was always referencing his money throughout the film (I mean, he bought a necklace that belonged to Louis XVI–that would not have been cheap), and I think the idea of potentially having to do manual labor would have been abhorrent to him. Maybe I misjudged his character when I was fourteen, who knows?

Any thoughts on this topic? Do you all think I am a dork?

Construction Story

Okay, I have finished editing the story.


I was inspired by a scene from A League of Their Own, and I kind of ran with it. Obviously Gigi is me, although a lot more cool and together.

  • Morgan was modeled off of a couple of guys from my past. He is a mix of my crush from eighth grade, Patrick; and a smidgen of Ryan (and I mean, just a smidge).
  • Mike is based on a real guy that lived across the street from me in elementary school, who was a huge troublemaker. I didn’t see him again until Freshman Orientation, when he was dating a girl I knew from middle school. I NEVER dated Mike, and I never would have.
  • The location of the confrontation between Gigi and Morgan never actually happened with Patrick and I (and if you want to read about the actual “confrontation,” click here. There was a similar confrontation in my junior year with a guy in my Math class, that happened before class started.
  • I never went to Homecoming, so this is what I imagined it would be like with drama and romantic stuff.
  • The house and writing room are obviously my ideal. Who wouldn’t want a soundproof room with a view to nap in?
  • The story takes place on the East Coast, but I could have just as easily based it on the West Coast.
  • The whole construction worker theme is based off of a story I wrote (and never finished) when I was 20/21, and was in love with Luke from Gilmore Girls. I don’t know where that story is, but I would likely cringe when reading it.

Silly Things I Did As a Teenager

Author’s Note: Upon further inspection, I discovered this Rolling Stone issue is from May 2000. I would have likely read this as road trip entertainment, since I was moving across the country in June of that same year (with that said, my hair was cut similar to hers in 1999, I just don’t know who the inspiration might have been).

At the moment, this will be only one example. I know in the back of my mind that I did some ridiculous stuff, but I can only think of this one example.

When I was 15-16, I lived my life by all things Pop music-related. I was the odd girl in 1999 who was either in love with ‘NSYNC or Backstreet Boys–I liked them both immensely*; who couldn’t figure out what Christina Aguilera’s deal was, but I knew something was off about her (and when she made “Dirrty” I figured it out); and who cut her hair to look like Britney Spears.

In the summer of 1999, Britney appeared on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine, bearing this haircut (which might have been a wig):

I also had shorts that laced up like her pants.

I was captivated by the length of her hair; the purposeful messiness of it, and I felt I needed it. For a bit of background on me at that age: five years earlier, my hair was very short. I hated having short hair, and I had grown my hair out about two years earlier. My favorite thing about my long hair in high school was that when I ran in P.E. class, I could see my ponytail swinging; and now I wanted to lop it all off so I could have this haircut.

I didn’t look like Britney. Photographic evidence exists of this haircut (and it is in my sophomore yearbook; along with the skunk hair color of my formerly-red highlights that went blonde), but I am far too ashamed to take a photo of that photo. I cut my hair in July (but not as short as Britney’s), because it had grown out badly by August, when school photos were taken. My hair was still long enough that I could pull it into a ponytail and let it swing and smack me in the face in volleyball class.

*Even by today’s standards of BSB vs ‘NSYNC, it is blasphemous to like both of them. To clarify, my friends also liked both boy bands (and were of course in love with Nick and Justin–ICK!), but they always had a higher preference for one over the other. If you ask 32-year old Colleen if she still feels the same, I would say no. I now have a much higher preference for ‘NSYNC over Backstreet Boys.


Today was the SNHU Commencement in New Hampshire. I had intended to watch it on my computer, but I went out with my sister and then my parents. I managed to get home in time to watch the Reading of Degrees (or handing out of degrees), and the way they do it is weird. They had two men reading off names simultaneously, and it was confusing.

I will admit this: I had to go into my bathroom have a cry. Not because I wasn’t there to participate, but for some unknown reason (I really have no idea why I cried). Thanks to a fellow student, those of us who were graduating but not attending, he provided the Commencement Program. I obviously scanned it for my name under the Arts and Sciences, and here is a collage I made with those snippets (Because WordPress has seen fit to prohibit images from being clicked on to become larger in a second window, I had to put it under the cut for page conservation):

Continue reading “Commencement”

Interview With the Vampire Remake Thoughts

I am self-professed vampire fan. This isn’t something I hide from people. I might want to tone down the level of admiration I had for the Twilight saga when speaking to people, but I never shy away from the level of love I have for all things vampire.

I recently read that there is a remake of Anne Rice’s Interview With the Vampire  and an (long-awaited) adaptation of The Vampire Lestat, and my first thought was, “Why?” I mean, I was eleven when IWtV came to theatres, and I was 11-12 when I glimpsed it for the first time on HBO. I have written about how Tom Cruise’s Lestat awakened me in many aspects, and when I think of Lestat and Louis, I think of Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt. Remaking this seems utterly ridiculous.

Then this morning, I see that the writer/director/producer wants Jared Leto for Lestat. Suddenly, I am on-board for a remake. No, not because I think Jared Leto is a nice-looking guy (which he is), but because he would bring Lestat’s intensity to life. Tom Cruise did an awesome job portraying Lestat’s annoyance with Louis’ lack of bloodlust, and the blatant disregard he has for human life being for anything other than sating his thirst. Besides, Jared Leto recently posted a tongue-in-cheek statement that he drinks human blood to remain looking youthful.

With that said, the casting of Louis has to be excellent, as well. Brad Pitt portrayed Louis’ disgust with his vampirism really well, and whoever fills this role needs to feel Louis’ pain.

Obviously, this is something I take quite seriously, and will be watching very closely over the next few months.